i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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