I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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