i don't like sucking hair
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize