so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
