i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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