i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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