Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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