god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You were trust falling into bushes
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