a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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