where am i from again
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
