The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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