I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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