either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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