So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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