if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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