I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
