I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
