I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
