Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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