I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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