I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
