It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
