i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
