smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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