I like to think it a success when the cops are called
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
