Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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