it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
