I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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