I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
