She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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