Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
