i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
