I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
