I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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