i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
