Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
