I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
