she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize