Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
