so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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