no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
