Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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