I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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