That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
