It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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