Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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