The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize