do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i drank out of a bidet.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
