party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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