so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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