i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
