If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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