He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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