is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize