Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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