Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I will be naked everywhere
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize