Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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