remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
