ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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