so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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