Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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