I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
