it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
